Shocked

Wish sleep would put an end to these thoughts; such hideous revelations keep creeping up.
Not sure if I should think them through,
because every time I do the thought of you becomes less appealing;
less pure.
For six whole hours the same thought holds the foreground,
with such flabbergasted reaction has completely been shadowed,
by the potential evil thoughts of one so close that seems to have been mastered.
Such thought goes into such a flow,
repetition of words I wouldn't even think of.
The only way I can stop thinking about them is if I start writing my own,
words over and over, that never touch the surface,
of the evil, no words can describe it.
So hour after hour these words will have to surface,
because the thoughts that seem to scar right above my eyes need to be flooded.
Drowned in a sea darker than the thought is,
disbelief makes me keep repeating what I'm trying to write over...
My train of thought keeps skipping to the record that keeps repeating,
over, and over.. and over, and over...